there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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