thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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