I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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