I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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