I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
