she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
