she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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