Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
