Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
