I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
His hands were made for my vagina.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
