Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We left an ass print on the piano.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
pray to the hookup gods
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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