shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
