Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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