i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
