i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
