my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
