Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
