oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize