sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize