I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
