Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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