Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
