some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
