he shaved USA in his pubs
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
