In the future we'll all be gay
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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