I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
