I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
