im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Randomize
