Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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