Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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