Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
