someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
