Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize