just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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