just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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