OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
