Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
