at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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