so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
