You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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