it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
