Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
