K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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