found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
