the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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