i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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