she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
