question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
