A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
