forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
