His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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