Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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