Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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