you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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