Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
