first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
