I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
