hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
